बंद करो,अब बहुत हो गया।

क्यूँ ये हाहाकार है? क्यूँ चारों तरफ़ मचा चीत्कार है?
क्यूँ अपनी आबरू खोने के बाद भी वो करती इंसाफ़ का इंतज़ार है?

क्यूँ डर है आँखों में उसकी? क्यूँ डरा हुआ और सदमे में उसका परिवार है?
क्या गलती थी उसकी, जो वो चिता पर और खुली हवा में घूम रहे उसके गुनहगार है?

बंद करो, अब बहुत हो गया।
बंद करो, अब बहुत हो गया।

ना समझो उसे भोग की वस्तु,
वो तो किसी की लाड़ली बेटी, बहू, पत्नी और परिवार के जीने का आधार है।

क्यूँ ये हाहाकार है?
क्यूँ चारों तरफ़ मचा चीत्कार है?

ये कैसी विडंबना है? ये कैसा सामाजिक सरोकार है? एक तरफ पूजी जाती है जो कन्या देवी के रूप में नौ दिन, क्यूँ बनती वही उन वैश्यी दरिंदों का शिकार है?

कहाँ जा रहे है हम? क्या ये ही हमारे संस्कार है?

कोई घर से निकलने में डर रही है, तो कोई घर में ही डर के साए में जीने को लाचार है।

क्यूँ ये हाहाकार है?
क्यूँ चारों तरफ़ मचा चीत्कार है?

हर घाव शरीर का, उसकी आत्मा को झलनी कर जाता है।

जीना चाहती हूँ मैं, कहकर दिल का हर दर्द उसकी आँखों में उतर आता है।

बंद करो, अब बहुत हो गया।
बंद करो, अब बहुत हो गया।

ना समझो उसे भोग की वस्तु,
वो तो किसी की लाड़ली बेटी, बहू, पत्नी और परिवार के जीने का आधार है।

कैसे विकृत मानसिकता को बढ़ावा दिया जाता है?

जो जघन्य, क्रूर और बर्बर अपराधी है, कैसे उसकी दया याचिका पर विचार किया जाता है?

जुल्म करते वक़्त जो अपराधी अपनी उम्र का होश खो बैठता है,

बाद में, गलती हो गयी कहकर अपनी उम्र का हवाला देकर सज़ा को कम करने के हजारों रास्तों के द्वार खुलवाता है।

क्या हो गया है हमें, कहाँ जा रहे है हम?

सिर्फ मोमबत्ती लेकर रास्तों पर बैठना समस्या का हल नहीं है, किसी भुलावे में जी रहे है हम।

सोच बदलने की जरुरत है वो लड़कियाँ है, भोग की वस्तु नहीं।

जला कर राख कर देंगी जो अगली बार उठी ऊँगली कोई भी।

बंद करो, अब बहुत हो गया।
बंद करो, अब बहुत हो गया।

ना समझो उसे भोग की वस्तु,
वो तो किसी की लाड़ली बेटी, बहू, पत्नी और परिवार के जीने का आधार है।

©®दीपिका

ज़िंदगी तो जिंदादिली से जीने का नाम है।

ज़िंदगी तो जिंदादिली से जीने का नाम है।
सपनों को पीछे छोड़कर जीना कोई ज़िंदगी थोड़े ही है, समझौता है।

अगर आता है हुनर जीने का तो क्या फ़र्क पड़ता है कि कौन बड़ा और कौन छोटा है?

अच्छाई का हमेशा बाँहें फैलाकर स्वागत करो।
और लगे अगर जकड़े हो किसी बुराई से तो उसे स्वीकार कर, बदलने की कोशिश करो।

तुरंत फल की चाहत में कर्मों का लेखा ज़ोखा बिगाड़ना सबसे बड़ी बेवकूफी है।

अगर की है शिद्दत से मेहनत तो फल जरुर मिलेगा,खुद पर विश्वास रखना बेहद जरुरी है।

ज़िंदगी तो जिंदादिली से जीने का नाम है।

©® दीपिका

दिल छोटा ना कर!

यूँ ही बीत जाएगी ज़िंदगी, बेवजह की गलफतों में,
कुछ दिल्लगी में, कुछ दिल की लगी में।

खुशियों का खज़ाना अपने अन्दर ही है, हम बेवज़ह बाहर ढूंढते है।

क्यूँ देते है हम उन चीज़ों को तवज्जों, जो हमें अन्दर ही अन्दर तोड़ता है।

तू खुद ही खुद के लिए काफ़ी है, तू ऱब का बंदा है।

जो ना समझे कीमत तेरी, वो भूल है उसकी, दूसरों का दिल दुखाना उसका तो रोज़ का धंधा है।

लगा रहे तू अपनी कोशिशों में, दूसरों की परवाह न कर।
एक दिन मिल जाएगा तू भी अपनी मंजिल से, दिल छोटा ना कर।

©®दीपिका

https://anchor.fm/deepika-mishra/episodes/Dil-Chota-Na-Kar-eamg8g

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/11/15/housalo-ki-udaan/

हौंसलों की उड़ान

आधा फासला तय किया है अभी, आधा करना बाक़ी है।
तय की है दूरी ये भले ही लड़खड़ाते क़दमों से, पंखों की उड़ान तो अभी बाक़ी है।

आँखों से ओंझल है लक्ष्य और तूफानों का दौर है।
पर विश्वास ढिगा नहीं है बिल्कुल भी, जीतने की चाह अभी भी बाक़ी है।

जैसे खड़ी रहती है चट्टान हजारों चोटें सहने के बाद भी।
वैसे ही है हौंसलें की ताक़त मेरी, जो और मज़बूत हो जाती है हर नई चुनौती के साथ ही।

कठिन है सफ़र ये मेरा और ख्वाहिशों में रंग भरना बाक़ी है। ये तो बस अभी शुरुवात है, हौंसलों की उड़ान तो अभी बाक़ी है।

©®दीपिका

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/11/04/kyun-katnni-aur-karni-mein-itna-antar-hai/

7 Things which can ruin Any Relationship!

The relationship is a kind of bonding of love, care, concern & trust which two persons share. It takes a lot of time, efforts & patience to form a mutual bonding between two individuals.

It is not an overnight process. But sometimes we undervalue the whole concept of maintaining a bond and create misunderstanding.

Here are the 7 seven things which can ruin any relationship!

*Disrespect and unacceptance for your partner

*Hide your real face and personality

*Lack of love, care and concern towards your partner after a time period

*Any sort of cheating(Financial or Emotional)

*Confused and selfish nature of an Individual

*Oversensitive, Overpowering, overprotective and hyperactive behaviour of your partner

*The Negative approach to deal with any kind of situation

1. Disrespect & Unacceptance for your partner-

We are not now in the Eighties where we don’t have any right to choose our partner without any fear. Now we can choose and if not in your case, at least can know about your would-be partners.

And I believe we should go like this only. If we are going to build any relationship then the basics must be very clear.

Blindly choose anyone to live with the whole life is absolutely not a good idea at all.

While choosing the partner please don’t be over-emotional. Please watch the overall personality and if you are satisfied with it then only go for it.

If you both have mutual capabilities, you accept both plus and minus of each other’s personality then only step forward for any commitment.

After entering a committed relationship, I believe both should have respect and acceptance for each other.

One cannot have the right to do any type of humiliation for any small or big things.

2. Hide your real face and personality-

In the initial days of any relationship both the partners want to show only the good side of theirs, so-called goody goody image.

I believe every person has both the sides to some extent, nobody is completely perfect in all the zoners. If he or she is only showing the goody face, there is something fishy.

Here I am not pointing out the good behaviour of any person. Just trying to say every person has some behavioural traits which he or she can hide only for sometime later when they find their partner’s confidence in them, they go in the comfort zone and started showing the real face which is not good at all. This is not applicable in all the scenarios.

So don’t try to be fake at any moment of your relationship. Be real, Be what you are and try to overcome your flaws.

3. Lack of love, care, concern towards your partner after a time period-

Every person wants there should be one person in their life who love and care for them unconditionally. After going into a relationship they expect this love and care from their partners for a whole life.

But the certain circumstances comes in their life where priorities changes and they couldn’t show their concerns and then misunderstandings take place.

This is the real test of your bonding, if you know and understand your partner feeling then only you can able to make him realise that what we are lacking?

Both the person should handle this situation maturely. Fight and arguments are absolutely not a good idea. Sit and talk about things might be work better.

It is true When the responsibilities increase we slightly divert from our relationship goals. We think we need not prove our love and concern to our partner but it is not like that there is always a warmness needed in a healthy relationship.

So whatever going outside shouldn’t affect your personal life much. Always try to find out some personal moments which can enrich your relationship with love.

4. Any kind of cheating( Financial or emotional)

Trust is the main root cause for making any relationship healthy and loyal.

Any kind of cheating must spoil your relationship life long. If you can’t trust each other then it’s better to walk out from the relationship because If you don’t trust, you wouldn’t respect and devote your hundred per cent to your relationship.

Financial cheating can be digested to some extent but the emotional cheating can’t be. If you lose the emotional trust on your partner, it takes a lot of time to regain and restart the things smoothly.

Be loyal to yourself and of course with your partner too.

5. Confused and selfish nature of an Individual-

We can’t be selfish always. We live in a society where we play different roles at the same time.

If you are not respectful of your parter’s family and expect her fully involvement from her side, things will not be working for a long time.

“Give respect and get respect” is the key for securing any relationship to ruin.

At the same time, confused personality people also spoil their relations in the absence of situation handling power.

They want to put forward their points but lack of confidence or some other reasons they fail to communicate and go in the mess.

Here your clean and soft behaviour can save you from relationship’s mishaps.

6. Oversensitive, Overpowering, Overprotective and Hyperactive behaviour of your partner-

Every person wants a simple and peaceful life where they can work and live their lives peacefully.

But if one of their partners is over sensitive, overpowering, overprotective or hyperactive then the life becomes hell.

Because these type of persons react very often with their blunt and dry behaviour. They don’t even to try to understand other partner’s emotion but only try to satisfy their ego anyhow.

Onesided overpowering relationships never work for anyone. In this relationship, one person always suffers from the over-sensitive behaviour of others.

Individual space is always needed for a healthy relationship. One doesn’t force another person only he or she loves that person. Individual identity and individuality is also an important factor in anybody’s personality.

So giving a healthy space is equally important and don’t try to overpower your partner with your hyperactive behaviour and approach.

7. The negative approach to deal with any kind of situation-

Negativity drags you in the clueless situation where you don’t even see the positive and good sides.

Nobody likes negative people who often talk about negatives and pull them in the negativity in every single conversation.

If your partner does so then it is the worst for you because then there is no need for any enemy, he or she will demoralise you with their negative talks and vibrations.

No one can bear negative vibrations for long whether it is coming from your partner. Slowly slowly another person will maintain the distance so that he or she can breathe in the fresh air of positivity.

If a partner has this problem then another partner should help to come out of this psyche.

“A positive environment with positive people can push you back to the path of the positivity.”

Otherwise, a negative thought can ruin all your happiness and faith in your relationship.

These are the seven things which can ruin any relationship. If you are also suffering from some relationship issues try to figure out soon with the valid solutions.

I will meet you in the next one, till then take care of your relationships.

Regards & Gratitude,

Deepika

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/09/24/11-rules-for-making-indian-marriages-happy-and-peaceful/

क्यूँ कथनी और करनी में इतना अंतर है?

क्यूँ कथनी और करनी में इतना अंतर है?
भीतर के भाव और वाणी में छुपा ऱाज भयंकर है।

अच्छा सबको लगता है दो मीठे बोल प्यार के सुनना,
पर क्यूँ कल्पना के सागर और जीती वास्तविकता में इतना अंतर है?

जताया जाता है कि हम साथ खड़े है हर पल तुम्हारे,
तुम व्यर्थ डटे हो, हम ही तो दे रहे है बाजुओं को सहारे।

हर वक़्त बड़े होने का भाव दिखाया जाता है,
पर शायद बड़ा बनने के लिए भी बड़प्पन को पहले अंदर पनपाया जाता है।

क्यूँ ये समझना और समझाना इतना मुश्किल है?
क्यूँ कथनी और करनी में इतना अंतर है?भीतर के भाव और वाणी में छुपा राज़ भयंकर है।

©® दीपिका

खुद की सुनो।

अजीब दस्तूर है दुनिया का!

कुछ न करो तो “निकम्मा”
और करो तो “खुदगर्ज़” कहती है।

बेफिक्र होकर जियो तो “लापरवाह”
और कदम फूँक फूँक कर रखो तो “डरपोक” कहती है।

ज्यादा खर्च करो तो “दिखावा”
और बज़ट के अनुसार चलो तो “कंजूस” कहती है।

दूसरों के कहे अनुसार जीने लगे तो शायद ही आगे बढ़ पायेगें,
दिल में दबे अरमान और कुछ करने का जूनून यूँ ही घुट घुट कर दम तोड़ जायेगें।

ज़िंदगी जीनी है तो “जिंदादिली” से जिओ।
“कुछ तो लोग कहेगें ही, लोगों को कहने दो” की सोच को जहन में जिन्दा रखो।

©®दीपिका

https://anchor.fm/deepika-mishra/episodes/Khud-Ki-Suno-ec65ti

क्यूँ सिर झुकाए खड़ा है तू?

क्यूँ सिर झुकाए खड़ा है तू, बोलियों के इस बाज़ार में?

जानता है गर कद्र अपनी तो बढ़ जा आगे,
झोंक कर बेबसी को अपनी, मजबूरियों की अंगार में।

आत्मबल और सच्चाई ख़ासियत है तेरे व्यक्तित्व की,
जो भूल गया है तू व्यर्थ के दिखावे की लड़ाई में।मत हो मायूस समाज के उन तानों से,

जो सपनों को तोलते है तेरे अपनी इच्छाओं के पैमाने पे।मिल जाएगा जवाब उन्हें भी, तेरे काम की गहराइयों में,

जो आँकते थे हुनर को तेरे, नाकामयाबियों की कतार में।

क्यूँ सिर झुकाए खड़ा है तू, बोलियों के इस बाज़ार में?

©®दीपिका

5 Signs That A Husband Should Understand!

Husband wife relationship is the most beautiful and selfless relationships on the planet if they both understand and value the bond of love and understanding.

There are 5 following signs when a husband should understand that his wife is not happy and she needs her husband’s support, love, concern and attention to come out from this.

https://marriagetoday.com/marriagehelp/wifes-expectations-marriage/

*Sudden change in wife’s behaviour

*Sudden incline to be silent

*Less interested in healthy arguments

*Less involvement in her favourite areas of interest

*Repetitive emotional break downs

1.Sudden Change in wife’s behaviour-

This is the first alarming sign in the 5 following signs that a husband should understand. Maybe possible he found his bubbly and super active wife suddenly has gone in her own shell. She is less interested in cracking jokes now. Most of the super exciting things which gave happiness to her earlier now are treated as the routine.

2. Sudden decline to be silent-

The second sign that a husband should understand that his wife adopted a trait of quietness for a long. She is less interested in sharing her feelings and thoughts with her husband. Earlier she eagerly waited for her husband. As he entered the room a big fat smile came at her face but now she behaves that she doesn’t care about who is coming and who is going?

3.Less Interested in healthy arguments-

Healthy arguments between husbands and wives make their relationships strong.

When they both confront each other with their demands and expectations there is no chance that they will end the discussion without a solution.

But when the possibilities are blocked from either side or especially from the wife’s side, the husband should take this seriously.

Less interest in any type of conversation is the third sign that a husband should understand.

4.Less Involvement in her favourite areas of interest-

Creativity is the beauty of a woman’s personality. She loves to do and explores the areas which she never touches.

But when her areas of interests take a back seat or the least priority in her routine, the husband should understand his wife is not happy with the current situations or the scenarios of her life.

Those things are not giving her that happiness and satisfaction which she felt earlier while doing.

5.Repetitive Emotional break downs-

When she starts reacting on even those smallest things which didn’t matter for her earlier.When she starts to feel helpless and alone for whatever reasons. When she changes into a highly sensitive person and loses her temper.When she starts questioning and doubting herself with blaming and cursing for every odds situations in the family.

What Should A Husband Do?

If his wife is suffering from above-mentioned issues, then the husband should understand that this is not normal, his wife needs his help, his concern, his love, his time and his attention.

She is expecting help from her husband’s side. But most of the time husband is not able to understand these alarming signs which should be considered as a priority for their happy married life.

Next time when you as a husband observe these signs please be alert and talk to your wife and try to understand her point of view.

Please try to know what are the things which are torturing her and she is losing her interest from all her most favourite things.

This is not as difficult as you are thinking, just try to take initiative once. She is waiting for one true effort from her husband’s side too. Your one step will melt all the ice between the conversation.

So What are you waiting for?

Want to know about the rules for a happy married life!

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/09/24/11-rules-for-making-indian-marriages-happy-and-peaceful/

Go ahead!

Best wishes for all your genuine efforts!!

Regards and Gratitude,

Deepika

11 Rules for making Indian Marriages happy and peaceful!

Marriage is the bonding of two different personalities who met, share their feelings and thoughts then decide to live together for the rest of their life.

This is the Modern definition of Marriage. In past, here in India, this phenomenon was slightly different. Couples got married without seeing their would-be partners, only with the consent of parents and elders.

Now Phenomenon has changed in India also at some level. Couple’s rights and consent have also considered in today’s marriage culture which is a good sign.

In Indian marriages, only two persons are not get married, their families are also involved and add new family goals for both sides of the people.

https://www.kevinathompson.com/10-signs-marriage-healthy/

11 rules for making Indian marriages happy

*Choose the right person to marry.
*Don’t hesitate to express your feelings.
*Less expectation and more appreciation
*Forgiveness is a bliss. Practice forgiveness.
*Be honest and loyal to your partner.
*Grow respect and understanding for both sides.
*Maintain the dignity of your words and actions
*Ego is an Evil. Keep the distance.
*Support in the lows and sorrows.
*Possibility of good communication between the couple
*Importance of the personal space in a Relationship

1. Choose the right person to marry-

This is the most important rule, I feel. Choosing the right person is not as simple as it seems. After all, it is a matter of the whole life.

I prefer one should not be emotional while choosing her would be a partner. If her thoughts don’t resonate with him or they don’t respect and value each other thoughts then they should not go for that relationship because, in the end, all situational and logical events will end with conflict.

2. Don’t hesitate to express your feelings-

I think we as women are more expressive and don’t hesitate to express our feelings towards our men but I felt men are less expensive to show their love and gratitude to their wives or partner.

They value their efforts but don’t have enough courage to show their gratitude or appreciate them in a way that she wants.

3.Less Expectation & More appreciation-

Higher expectations are the root cause of any conflicts. Indian Wives expect a lot from their husbands and the same with their husbands too.

Indian wives are treated like Supermachine whose task is to make everyone happy in the family. From day one when she enters as a daughter in law in a new family is judged by most of the family members.

Men are in the pressure of balancing the situation from both sides. Men are also targeted and tagged that he is changed a lot after the marriage.

Nobody wants to appreciate the efforts of newlywed couples who are also trying to adjust the situation in their best way.

4. Forgiveness is a bliss, should practice forgiveness-

If one of the partners is trying to overcome their weaknesses, another one should respect the act.

Rather accusing on the wrong behaviour, again and again, try to know about the psyche. And If he or she accepts their mistakes then go forward in their life, definitely should give the chance.

I think who is more mature or who wants to act more maturely should come forward and forgive the other partner.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/11/17/forgiveness/

5. Be honest and loyal to your partner-

Trust is the biggest factor which is the base of any relationship that holds and ties the two persons in a chain. If any of them is not loyal to another, the relationship will not work ever.

If you want to take further your relationship, the true commitment must be there.

Any type of cheating ruins many lives dramatically.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/12/02/dont-break-the-trust-ever/

6. Grow respect and understanding for both sides-

As I told earlier, Indian marriages are the symbol of two families involvement.

Both should respect and try to understand another point of view.

If the wife is not giving respect to the husband’s family then-husband hurts and If the husband doesn’t understand the value of the wife’s family the wife feels the same.

Indians girls always an edge towards their biological parents but also she tries her best to adjust in the new family so she should be welcomed for her efforts.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/11/13/responsibilities-priorities/

7. Maintain the dignity of words and actions-

Both husband and wives should keep an eye on their words and actions. It should check, How they are treating their partners by their behaviour?

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/04/25/day22-violence-is-a-curse/

Abusing language and domestic violence is the most common problem which comes in a dirty form in every second couple in India.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/11/20/anger-right-or-wrong/

8. Ego is evil! Keep the distance-

Egoistic approach ruins both the lives. The problem is both husband and wife don’t want to leave their ego.

She should come first and say sorry, husband thinks. What did I do, Why should I go? Wife’s reactions.

You can imagine the situation If both will try to prove their point right then how the communication will start?

One partner has to come in front and take charge of the egoless conversation.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/12/17/criticism-how-to-take-it/

9.Support in the lows and sorrows-

This is life, up and downs will come in a certain gap of time. If you think that you will live only happy moments of your life with your partner then you are mistaken.

Come out from the fantasy and welcome to the real world of challenges. When the lows will come, you have to stand like an anchor in your partner’s life.

10.Possibility of good communication between the couple-

This is a very dangerous phenomenon of a marriage where couples don’t want to talk with each other.

Whatever the situations there should be a space of communication between the couples.

Don’t drag the situation to that extent point where the chances of communication are the lowest.

All types of misunderstandings should be vanished by egoless communication.

11.Importance of the personal space in a relationship-

Agreed! Husband wife shares the very intimate closeness but at the same time, they both want to get their personal spaces where they can work on their personal interests.

Initial days of marriages are the exceptions where the newlywed wants to share their personal spaces with their partners only otherwise giving personal space to the partner is always a sign of a happy marriage where both the partners have the right to utilise their space according to their interests.

These are the most common 11 rules, by following them you can make your married life happy and peaceful.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.timesofindia.com/life-style/relationships/love-sex/5-assumptions-that-can-kill-a-marriage-slowly/amp_articleshow/70963355.cms

What do you think about the topic? Share with me in the comment section.

Till then take care of your relationships.

You can also read

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/11/06/7-things-which-can-ruin-any-relationship/

Why Indian arranged marriages are successful?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-behind-behavior/201511/why-are-so-many-indian-arranged-marriages-successful%3famp

Regards & Gratitude,

Deepika