11 Rules for making Indian Marriages happy and peaceful!

Marriage is the bonding of two different personalities who met, share their feelings and thoughts then decide to live together for the rest of their life.

This is the Modern definition of Marriage. In past, here in India, this phenomenon was slightly different. Couples got married without seeing their would-be partners, only with the consent of parents and elders.

Now Phenomenon has changed in India also at some level. Couple’s rights and consent have also considered in today’s marriage culture which is a good sign.

In Indian marriages, only two persons are not get married, their families are also involved and add new family goals for both sides of the people.

https://www.kevinathompson.com/10-signs-marriage-healthy/

11 rules for making Indian marriages happy

*Choose the right person to marry.
*Don’t hesitate to express your feelings.
*Less expectation and more appreciation
*Forgiveness is a bliss. Practice forgiveness.
*Be honest and loyal to your partner.
*Grow respect and understanding for both sides.
*Maintain the dignity of your words and actions
*Ego is an Evil. Keep the distance.
*Support in the lows and sorrows.
*Possibility of good communication between the couple
*Importance of the personal space in a Relationship

1. Choose the right person to marry-

This is the most important rule, I feel. Choosing the right person is not as simple as it seems. After all, it is a matter of the whole life.

I prefer one should not be emotional while choosing her would be a partner. If her thoughts don’t resonate with him or they don’t respect and value each other thoughts then they should not go for that relationship because, in the end, all situational and logical events will end with conflict.

2. Don’t hesitate to express your feelings-

I think we as women are more expressive and don’t hesitate to express our feelings towards our men but I felt men are less expensive to show their love and gratitude to their wives or partner.

They value their efforts but don’t have enough courage to show their gratitude or appreciate them in a way that she wants.

3.Less Expectation & More appreciation-

Higher expectations are the root cause of any conflicts. Indian Wives expect a lot from their husbands and the same with their husbands too.

Indian wives are treated like Supermachine whose task is to make everyone happy in the family. From day one when she enters as a daughter in law in a new family is judged by most of the family members.

Men are in the pressure of balancing the situation from both sides. Men are also targeted and tagged that he is changed a lot after the marriage.

Nobody wants to appreciate the efforts of newlywed couples who are also trying to adjust the situation in their best way.

4. Forgiveness is a bliss, should practice forgiveness-

If one of the partners is trying to overcome their weaknesses, another one should respect the act.

Rather accusing on the wrong behaviour, again and again, try to know about the psyche. And If he or she accepts their mistakes then go forward in their life, definitely should give the chance.

I think who is more mature or who wants to act more maturely should come forward and forgive the other partner.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/11/17/forgiveness/

5. Be honest and loyal to your partner-

Trust is the biggest factor which is the base of any relationship that holds and ties the two persons in a chain. If any of them is not loyal to another, the relationship will not work ever.

If you want to take further your relationship, the true commitment must be there.

Any type of cheating ruins many lives dramatically.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/12/02/dont-break-the-trust-ever/

6. Grow respect and understanding for both sides-

As I told earlier, Indian marriages are the symbol of two families involvement.

Both should respect and try to understand another point of view.

If the wife is not giving respect to the husband’s family then-husband hurts and If the husband doesn’t understand the value of the wife’s family the wife feels the same.

Indians girls always an edge towards their biological parents but also she tries her best to adjust in the new family so she should be welcomed for her efforts.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/11/13/responsibilities-priorities/

7. Maintain the dignity of words and actions-

Both husband and wives should keep an eye on their words and actions. It should check, How they are treating their partners by their behaviour?

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/04/25/day22-violence-is-a-curse/

Abusing language and domestic violence is the most common problem which comes in a dirty form in every second couple in India.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/11/20/anger-right-or-wrong/

8. Ego is evil! Keep the distance-

Egoistic approach ruins both the lives. The problem is both husband and wife don’t want to leave their ego.

She should come first and say sorry, husband thinks. What did I do, Why should I go? Wife’s reactions.

You can imagine the situation If both will try to prove their point right then how the communication will start?

One partner has to come in front and take charge of the egoless conversation.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2018/12/17/criticism-how-to-take-it/

9.Support in the lows and sorrows-

This is life, up and downs will come in a certain gap of time. If you think that you will live only happy moments of your life with your partner then you are mistaken.

Come out from the fantasy and welcome to the real world of challenges. When the lows will come, you have to stand like an anchor in your partner’s life.

10.Possibility of good communication between the couple-

This is a very dangerous phenomenon of a marriage where couples don’t want to talk with each other.

Whatever the situations there should be a space of communication between the couples.

Don’t drag the situation to that extent point where the chances of communication are the lowest.

All types of misunderstandings should be vanished by egoless communication.

11.Importance of the personal space in a relationship-

Agreed! Husband wife shares the very intimate closeness but at the same time, they both want to get their personal spaces where they can work on their personal interests.

Initial days of marriages are the exceptions where the newlywed wants to share their personal spaces with their partners only otherwise giving personal space to the partner is always a sign of a happy marriage where both the partners have the right to utilise their space according to their interests.

These are the most common 11 rules, by following them you can make your married life happy and peaceful.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.timesofindia.com/life-style/relationships/love-sex/5-assumptions-that-can-kill-a-marriage-slowly/amp_articleshow/70963355.cms

What do you think about the topic? Share with me in the comment section.

Till then take care of your relationships.

You can also read

Why Indian arranged marriages are successful?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-behind-behavior/201511/why-are-so-many-indian-arranged-marriages-successful%3famp

Regards & Gratitude,

Deepika

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जिंदगी सबसे बड़ी गुरु है।

जिंदगी सबसे बड़ी गुरु है, जीना सिखा देती है।
आँखों से गिरे हर आँसू को पीना सिखा देती है।

जो जाते है गर तारें अगर मायूसियों की गर्दिशों में,
उन्हें रोशनी का नया सूरज दिखा देती है।

आते है बहुत से दो राहें मंजिलों की चाह में,
पर है शुक्रिया तेरा, ए जिंदगी! तू हर बार गिरकर उठना सिखा देती है।

ग़मों की गहराइयों और सुखों की परछाईयों में,
अपनों और परायों की पहचान सिखा देती है।

जिंदगी सबसे बड़ी गुरु है जीना सिखा देती है।
मुश्किलों भरी ज़मीन पर ख्वाइशों के फूल खिला देती है।

©®दीपिका

Now you can also listen to the poem. Here is the link.

https://youtu.be/NXZjA055AEU

You can also read

जिंदगी का सफ़र”

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/zindagi-ka-safar/

मन की शांति

जीती थी जो औरों की मन की शान्ति के लिए,
गैरों की हँसी और अपनों की खुशी के लिए।

आज देखकर उसे एक नया अनुभव हुआ,
छोड़ते हुए जिसने कड़वे लम्हों को पीछे, खुद के लिए जीने का निश्चय किया।

कट तो रही थी ज़िंदगी यूँ भी शनै: शनै:।
पर सलीके से ज़िंदगी जीने के लिए कुछ नए पैमानों को गढ़ा गया।
कुछ छोड़ा तो कुछ नया रचा गया।

बदल रही है अब उसकी भी सोच बदलती हवाओं के साथ,
खो नहीं सकती अब शांति वो भी अपने मन की, हर बदलती जरुरतों के साथ।

एक नया आशियाँ अब उसने भी बनाया है।उस अँधेरी रात के बाद फिर नया सवेरा आया है।

ज़िंदगी जीने के तरीके अब उसके भी बदल गए है।कुछ और ना सही पर उसके हौंसलों को पंख मिल गए है।

अब मुश्किल है शायद पीछे मुड़ना, मंजिलों की राहों को छोड़ कर,

यूँ ही चलते चलते अब इन राहों पर ज़िंदगी जीने के नए बहाने मिल गए है।

You can read another Hindi poem here.

Aurat Teri Kahani”

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/08/30/aurat-teri-kahani/

Regards & Gratitude,

Deepika

Self Doubt! How to handle it? Reasons and Solutions!

We live in a society where most of the people discourage you when you decide to step out from your shell of comforts.

Isn’t?

Yes! It happens. They start questioning your abilities on your previous performances. This phenomenon creates a Self Doubt to the person who is trying badly to achieve their goals.

Here I will discuss Self-doubt.

What is Self-Doubt?

When a person lacks confidence about what he is doing or wants to do and not feeling capable to fulfil that. The phenomenon is called Self Doubt.

Do believe in others perception about you and underestimate the power of your inner strength and believe is called Self-Doubt.

You can view a video on Self Doubt by Priyanka Nair (Mental Health Awareness Blogger)

https://youtu.be/v0Fq_WACdBo

Reasons for Self Doubt-

There are lots of reasons which create self-doubt. Some are comparisons, past experiences and failures, peer pressures, unrealistic goals.

Reasons for Self Doubt-
1.Comparison
2.Past mistakes or failures
3.Performance Pressure
4.Unexpected Situations

Let’s discuss in the detail.

1.Comparison-

The most dangerous factor for creating self-doubt is comparison. We start comparing ourselves to others for whatever reasons.

We underestimate our skills. We compare the two different things without knowing the basics of that particular thing.

Comparing a fish to a bird is never a good idea. Do a realistic comparison after assessment of the current situation.

Live in fantasy and ignoring the facts always drag you in the deep dark.

2.Past Mistakes or failures-

The second biggest factor for creating the self-doubt is fear of the failure.

Tell me, who is perfect in the world?

We are human beings, we have ambitions, aspirations and some predefined targets.

We try to do things, make mistakes, correct it and try to make it favourable for us.

Think for a while!

If we dream for perfection always how things will work for us?

Mistakes and failures are the keys to the solid path of the Success.”

3. Performance Pressure-

We can’t perform the best always. Accept the lows and flaws with dignity.

There would be time and situations where we feel left out. Things will not work as the same as we expect before.

It’s ok.

Rather taking the pressure and creating a big mess, by comparing them, try to sort out things wisely.

Understand the demand of the situation and then react.

4.Unexpected situations-

This is life. Up and downs will come. In some days you will feel on the top of the world and in the remaining rest days will face the real challenge for your survival.

What will you do?

Will Give up or show the fighting spirit?

Unexpected situations help to evolve the better person who is ready to face the odds by finding their solutions.

By Cursing to the bad situations you are only wasting your time and efforts.

Instead of that, accept the reality with a big heart and focus the solutions.

How can one handle the self-doubt situation?

1. Don’t expect for approvals-

Believe in your skills. Don’t be scared. If you are confident enough about your decision.

Don’t seek and expect for approvals in the starting. First, try to start doing the things on your own, later you will get the path automatically.

2. Don’t compare your things with others-

You are an individual with an interest in different areas.

How can you expect or another person expect that both of you will perform with the same intensity and especially in the same area?

Think about it.

3. Don’t underestimate your skills-

Believe in yourselves. Evaluate yourself. You are the best person who knows the best about you.

Believe in producing the better. Don’t give up on things which are bothering you and creating the obstacles in your path.

4. Flush out the negatives, Stay Positive-

Positive attitude, positive thinking always adds an extra bonus in your life.

Negativity will always drag you in the big zero where you can’t multiply your values and only get a zero in the result.

A positive attitude shouldn’t be a liability it is an asset which we are applying for ourselves, not for the sake of the others.

Meditation adds that a stable state of mind in our personality.

You can watch the related medication video to boost your self-esteem and self-confidence.

https://youtu.be/taA33Mtvi0E

These are some basics solutions which can help for reducing the self-doubt tendency.

I always believe in the philosophy, Listen to everyone but in the end, do only what you want to do or what gives you the satisfaction.

“If you are right and not compromising with your values, strength and efforts, self-doubt situations will never bother you.”

#deepikawrites

You can also read about the self-encouragement in the form of poetry.

https://myaspiringhope.wordpress.com/2019/04/23/day21-self-encouragement/

With a positive note, I take your leave. Will meet in the next one, till then take care and be optimistic.

Regards & Gratitude,

Deepika

Happy Teacher’s Day!! Types of Teachers

Wishing a very Happy Teacher’s Day to all the lovely teachers out there.

Happy Teacher’s Day!

Teachers are the path makers. Mother is the very first teacher who introduces us to basic life learning skills. We grow up and travel various phases of life and meet various types of teachers. Here is my interpretation of the types of teachers.

Types of teachers-

According to me, there are two types of categories of teachers.

1. Physically exist teachers

2. Abstract teachers

Let’s elaborate this.

1. Physically exist teachers-

They are the one who guides us to decide our path of life. They are our parents and our classroom teachers who shape our lives. They are very strict and very loving at the same time. They react according to the situations.

They are the most selfless persons who really wish for our progressive future.

(a)Parents-

Parents are the one who introduces morality and basic life skills at the very early stages. That background really matters to groom our personality and believes. They are actually our role models. We mostly adopt and follow their habits and actions.

(b) Classroom teachers-

They are the second most important learning pillar in our life. A good teacher can change all the negatives by their charismatic influence. After parents, we spent a lot of precious time with our teachers. We think they are only teaching subjects but actually, they are teaching how to deal with the subjects which we realise afterwards.

So these are the one by whom we interact physically, listen to them and want to follow their teachings.

Now come to the second type of category.

2.Abstract teachers-

(a)Life experiences-

These experiences are our abstract teachers. We can’t see but can feel and learn from those situations at every crucial point of our life. These are the practical learning which we can’t gain by reading the theoretical summary.

We go to the practical field of life, do mistakes, find solutions, improve our skills.

This is the continuous and never-ending learning process that gives us a chance to improve the previous situations and mishaps.

(b) Our inner consciousness-

Everything can go wrong but inner consciousness never. Our inner consciousness always pushes us to select the right path. A strong voice comes whether we try to do something wrong and not appropriate to nature’s law. That voice tries to stop us. It is up to us whether we apt or not.

If we listen to that voice it becomes a companion otherwise due to continuous negligence go to shell and after this, we can’t listen anymore.

Now it is again up to us whether we want to take it further.

Difference between Physical and Virtual teachers-

Virtual teachers like Life experiences and inner consciousness because those do not physically exist don’t force you at all. That indicates you, try to show the right path but in the end, leave the decision on your consciousness.

Parents and teachers never give up on their kids and students. They know that they can help to improve the mistakes so they use their full capabilities to correct the areas of lacking.

That is a different topic whether we appreciate their efforts or not?

Now I end this with the quote. I hope you like today’s little different approach. I will catch you in the next one.

“We learn from our mistakes and develop a sense of selection, what is right and what is wrong? Who ignore their life experiences, regret afterwards.”

#deepikawrites

You can read famous quotes about teachers here.

https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/teacher-quotes

Happy Teacher’s day again. Show your love and gratitude towards both the teachers.

Regards and gratitude,

Deepika